And, I embraced that I could have a life that looked as good on the outside as it felt on the inside.
I really got that it was not all the tragedy that I thought it was when my world came tumbling down.
The fall cleared a lot of things out: I had to move, change people in my life, live more economically, boost my Self-Worth; and recreate my life going forward.
But now I was sitting on a big white canvas that I could paint any which way that I wanted to. And, I wanted some new things in my life.
At first I was just knocked flat, having trouble breathing and wanting to just hide under the covers. Then I began to ask the questions about what do I do now — what's the step next?
The going was real slow at first, I had no money (the lawyers got it), I wondered who I could count on for kindness, my heart hurt, I cried a lot and life appeared to me in shambles.
But then, things that I didn’t expect started showing up that helped me. People came to love and support me. I thought about what resources I did have. And, I felt an inner flame that kindled my courage and strength.
I asked God: ‘If it all goes away — all of the material stuff that shrouded and defined me, what’s left?
The answer I got back was, ‘YOU’!….Wow, I thought: "That’s good enough — I’ve got me!”